Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I AM A MOM

Funny how our house looks the same from the outside, when everything has changed on the inside. I remember I had a really good friend, who got sick with a rare disease and while her life was totally crumbling down around her, I remember thinking as I would drive up to her beautiful home, in her beautiful neighborhood, gosh everything looks so "normal" from the outside, but inside, a young mom is having to ready her 4 small children for a life without her, and their life will never be the same again, and it wasnt. I am so thankful that our circumstances are so different from my friends. What we are going thru is a perfectly normal cycle of life. You raise your children to be smart and independent and then darn it, in the blink of an eye, they turn out to be smart and independent and you wonder where did the time go. How is it possible that it has been 25 years since I quit my job and at 21 was getting ready to be a mother for the first time. All I can ever remember wanting to be was a mom, ever. And then it happens, and then 3 years later it happens again, and you are thrilled and your life is totally about them.
Now it is time to think about me, but how? How do you start putting yourself and your needs first? I am so out of practice. I would love to hear from other woman who are going thru or who have gone thru this chapter in life and know how you are dealing with or have dealt with things? I am ready to get my feet wet and start wading in the shallow end, but gosh is it scary! Help!

4 comments:

Picket said...

Oh girl lookie here at you!!!!! I can't tell you how happy I am you have started this...Yahoo!
Girl I know exactly what you are talking about...I raised my five and my whole existance revolved around them...I never thought of myself nd I'd never dare spend money on myself...I loved all those years of being mama to my young babies...then before I could turn around they were gone...and it seemed like they had taken my life with them...what was I suppose to do now...but girl guess what..little by little you find that woman that you really have always been..you can come & go as you please...I started spending more time with my parents and my sister...ohhhh it felt so good to go out shopping & out to lunch & I actually started decorating and redoing like I had always wanted to do..I remember telling my sister one day that we have waited our whole lives for this day...because you know what is so beautiful about life..those sweet babies that we love & raise come back...they caome back to visit...they marry and come back with more family for you to love..then they have their own little babies & life goes full circle and your life just gets better and better because what we thought was a terrible thing of losing our babies was just God's way of preparing us for even more love & family in our lives...trust me girl..in the end it will be so worth it..to watch your babies grow to be strong and independant and find their way in this world and then to watch them have their own families..oh girl..what a blessing...
So you wash your pretty little face and take a deep breath...do something for you now & sit back & watch what God has in store for you!
Welcome to blogland sweetie....you'll love this neighborhood! ♥

Rue said...

Well, hey there!

I read your comment over at Pockets and popped on over :)

I'm going through this right now. Alex is moving out and we only have Annie for about 4 1/2 years. I dread the day they are gone, but in a way look forward to it. Conflicted it what I am LOL

rue :)

Jenni @ nest to keep said...

Hi there!
I just popped in from Rue's blog, and wanted to say hello! :) I am not an empty nester yet~ my husband and I just realized we are exactly at the half way mark. Past the diapers, and half way into my first year with all three in school all day! (It's weird, but really fun!) :) We have been parents for eleven and a half years, and in eleven and a half more, our youngest will be graduating from high school. It sounds so far in the future, but if the last eleven years are a blur...

If I were completely honest, motherhood is confusing sometimes! You want them to stay close, but you need space sometimes. You want them to stay little forever, but sometimes, you can't wait until they're grown!

I don't really know what I'm rambling about here...I guess what you said about really only wanting to be a mother, and getting ready to be a mother at 21 really resonated with me~ that is just like me! I was 22 when our first child was born! :)

I know I'm not an empty nester, but I am going to follow your blog! I hope you don't mind! You have a special blog! :)

Have a good night! :)

tardevil said...

Come back by my blog and go over and meet Lynette at Lynette's L.A.M. (life after Meaghan). Her button is on the right of my sidebar. She is trying to cope w/ her daughter going to college. I'm sure you'd have lots in common! :O)