Friday, May 15, 2009

Did I ever tell you about the day I tried to kill my husband?

I think this qualifies for Gollum's Foodie Friday's Second Trainwrecks & Bloopers After you read my aahh Blooper jump over to her site and read some others!
I was a new bride and cook. I knew the hubs loved his eggs over easy, yellow a bit runny. Try as I might i had a really hard time getting them to turn out this way, either they were cooked to long and no longer runny or when I went to turn them, I would break the darn center.
(and no this isnt an actual pic of my cooking, I didnt blog then and there where no digital cameras, if I had taken a picture of my cooking efforts it would probably still by in a drawer waiting to be taken to the store to be developed, hehe)
It was a Sunday morning and I thought I would make my man a "biggie" breakfast, this is what we called a breakfast with eggs, toast, bacon, and goetta
(if you dont know what this is, dont ask, it is delicious, but you dont want to know what is in it, it is a Cincinnati thing, lol)
I was so proud of myself, I plated that food up, knowing this was my best effort ever, eggs looked runny, goetta crispy, and the bacon chewy, just the way he likes it all,(yes he is a very picky eater, but I will save that for another post) Finally Success!!
Well...after taking a bite or maybe two,
he said ,babe this just doesnt taste right,
I said in my sweet loving wife way, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I DID EVERY THING RIGHT THIS TIME!
HE said, it just has an odd taste
And then he asked if I had used THAT, pointing to the can of Pam on the counter, only it wasnt a can of Pam, but a can of Shout stain remover,
That's right, I had accidently sprayed the pan with Shout, instead of Pam, OH MY GOD, I just poisoned my husband, I wondered, would stressful cooking for an extremely picky eater be a good enough defense to keep me out of jail??
I quickly looked up poison controls phone number, and called, the problem was everytime I tried to tell them what I had done, I giggled, kind of like I am doing now. I just couldnt tell the story without laughing, all the while my husband is gagging and thinking he is going to die! Finally they figured out what I had done and told me to tell him to drink lots of water and he should be fine. He was! I have been making this man breakfast for the past 27 years, I could be a short order breakfast cook by now, but I will never make his eggs without thinking about that day all those years ago. Over the years I have been tempted to put another squirt of shout in his eggs, but dont know if they would believe it was an accident the second time!
***UPDATE*** The hubs just got home from work, and I just finished reading him this post, laughing all the way. He said he didnt want all my blog friends to think he wasnt a nice guy. So, he wants me to clarify, he says not wanting to make me feel bad, he swears he forced down allll the eggs and goetta, before he said anything to me, aahh gee, what a guy my husband, no wonder we have been together for 32 years, since I was 15 years old!


Susan @ A Southern Daydreamer said...

oh that is tooo funny (since it turned out okay)! Happy Foodie Friday! Have a great weekend ~ Susan

Joyce said...

I am hysterical and must tell all the gals in my cooking club this story. This is one of the funniest stories today:) I am sure about 6 hours from now I am going to think about this and start laughing out loud again:)

The Quintessential Magpie said...

Now that is funny! Glad he survived to have you cook his breakfast for another 27 years and beyond.

You ought to hook up with us on the Foodie Friday post train.


Sheila :-)

Janene said...

I am laughing my butt off just reading this!!!
I have one question...Why did you have shout on your kitchen counter?
Thanks for sharing such a funny's a great way to start the weekend.

Robin said...

I know I shouldn't be, but I am SOOOOO laughing my bootie off at the moment! That sounds just like something that I would do (not on purpose, of course).

Thanks for sharing!!


Robin ;o)

newlyweds said...

OMG that is the funniest story ever!! Ha ha. I can't believe that he ever ate your eggs again, I would be scared, lol.

Ha ha, so glad he is just fine!! So what does shout taste like, lol.

mbkatc230 said...

This is one of the funniest things I've ever read! I can just picture the person on the other end of the poison control line - I bet they were trying not to laugh too! Glad it turned out all right. I giggled at your comment about "pre digital cameras". When we renovated our kitchen, I found about 15 rolls of undeveloped film in the back of hubby's "junk drawer". And I STILL haven't gotten them developed. Kathy

becca said...

Oh my goodness thank you for making me laugh SO HARD.

Christi @ A Southern Life said...

Too funny! That is a great story.

Julie said...

Great story--I laughed out loud--glad that it had a happy ending!! Have a wonderful weekend. Julie

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

That was a cute story! Well, we all figured out that he was alright and didn't die! :) Remind me to tell you about the time I put Castoria in the fudge because I thought it was Vanilla! Thank heavens we are only young once.. :)

Linda / Behind My Red Door said...

Too too funny! But I need to ask - whay was the Shout anywhere near the PAM? LOL

Now I am going to google goetta!

Have a great day! hugs, Linda

Bo said...

This was a hoot to read...LOL... I'm glad all turned out well. You have my curiosity up about "goetta" and will have to check it out... ;-) Bo

Myrna said...

LOL! Thanks for the chuckle!! What a great story!! I'm STILL trying to use the "I'm just a new bride" story to explain faux paus in the kitchen..and we've been married 31 years! :-)
Thanks for visiting my blog and your sweet comments! I'm looking forward to coming back here, too!!

The Quintessential Magpie said...

I am still laughing so hard at this title! LOL!


Sheila :-)

Heather said...

That is hysterical!!! Oh the memories throughout the years! Love this and can not wait to read it to my husband!! hee hee
I have missed you! I am trying my best to catch up with everyone and stay caught up! The house is on the market now so I finally feel- mostly- like we have our life "back".
See ya soon!

Wendy said...

LOL. This is a GREAT story! Well, I'm sorry for your husband, but still a great story.

Our toddler recently tried to kill my husband with laundry detergent in his drink, so tell your hubby he's not alone.

natalie said...

That is hilarious! Last week I sprinkled the dog's beef liver bits over my spaghetti instead of parmesan. The shaker looks the same, unfortunately for me. :)

Mommy Mac said...

Holy Cow! You were married when you were 15!!!!

I wasn't even wearing a bra yet...and I mean that.

Shout comes in a spray can, huh?

Didn't know that.

This post was too much.

It's funny to look back and see all the funnies you have shared together as husband and wife.


Never heard of that.

I'm oh so curious now. Will be checking it out as my husband is a HUGE fan of anything swine and frying pan in nature.

Thanks for joinning my blog to follow!

.mac :)

Rue said...

HAHAAHAHAHAHAH..... OMG! That IS funny!!

Melanie said...

That is hilarious! I did something similar when I was first married. I made tuna salad with horseradish sauce instead of mayo. hee hee

Lori E said...

Ha, you should really enter my giveaway with this post. The only requirement is a story about a food or home repair disaster. I think this could qualify on both counts if you had sprayed the laundry with Pam. Contest closes June 14.

Sue said...

Found you in Rue's comments.... this post is a hoot! I cannot believe I haven't done something like this in my 30+ years of marriage. Glad hubs turned out fine and can laff about now. Why oh why was the Shout anywhere near the food, by the way?! LOL Sue