Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Dear Family, Martha Stewart will not be attending our Thanksgivng

Dear Family,

I know that you were eager to accept my family's invitation to Thanksgiving dinner when you found out that the famous Martha Stewart would be joining us.

However, due to scheduling conflicts beyond her control, Ms. Stewart finds that she is unable to grace our table this year. With that in mind, there will be a few minor changes regarding the meal and decor, as outlined below. Please be aware of them, and adjust your appetite and dress appropriately. Thank you.

1) Our driveway will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After several trial runs and two visits from the fire department, it was decided that, no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.

2) Once inside, please note that the entry space will not be decorated with swags of Indian corn and fall foliage. Instead, I've gotten our daughter involved in decorating by having her track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was her idea.

3) The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china, or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that m atch and everyone will get a fork. Since this is Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the paper Cinderella dinner plates, the leftover Halloween napkins, and my famous Garfield cup collection.

4) Our centerpiece will not be a tower of fresh fruit and flowers. Instead we will be proudly displaying a hedgehog-like decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper and macaroni. The artist assures me it is a turkey, albeit one without wings, legs, or a beak.

5) We will be dining somewhat later than planned.
However, our daughter will entertain you while you wait. I'm sure she will be happy to share every choice comment her mother made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims, stuffing choices, the turkey hotline, and, especially, her husband. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 7:00AM upon discovering that said husband had only remembered to pull the turkey from the freezer at 6:00A M, and that the thing was still hard enough to cut diamonds.

6) As an accompaniment to our daughter's recital of these events, I will play a recording of Native American tribal drumming. Curiously, the tribal drumming sounds a great deal like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, but that only enhances the holiday appropriateness. If our daughter should mention that we don't own a recording of Native American tribal drumming, ignore her. She's only eight; what does she know?

7) A dainty silver bell will not be rung to announce the start of our feast. We have chosen to keep our traditional method of assembling when the smoke alarm goes off.

8) There will be no formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of harmony, we will ask all the children to sit at a separate table.
In a separate room. Next door. And I would like to take this opportunity to remind our younger diners that "passing the rolls" is neither a football play nor an excuse to bean your cousin in the head with bread.

9) The turkey will not be carved at the table. I know you have seen the Norman Rockwell image of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. Such a scene may occur somewhere in America , but it won't be happening at our dinner table. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in the kitchen at a private ceremony. I stress "private", meaning "Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children, or older, helpful grandparents into the kitchen to check on my progress. I have a very large, very sharp knife. The turkey is unarmed.
It stands to reason that I will eventually win the battle. When I do, we will eat."

10) For the duration of the meal, we will refer to the giblet gravy by its lesser-known name: Kraft Cheese Sauce. If a young diner questions you regarding the origins or makeup of the Kraft Cheese Sauce, smile kindly and say that you know the answer, but it's a secret that can't be revealed to them until they are 18.

11) Instead of offering a choice among 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You still have a choice: take it or leave it.

That concludes our list of alterations. Again, I apologize that Martha will not be joining us this year. Come to think of it, she probably won't come next year, either. And for that, I am indeed thankful.
I love Martha, I really do, but this was just too funny not to pass along! I will be preparing Thanksgiving Dinner this year for 20 members of my husbands family, wish me luck!!!



Saturday, November 14, 2009

Just Stuff

Nikki, my daughter and I have been doing alot of shopping lately, getting a great start on my Christmas shopping, and having really good luck, so far. I have been able to cross quite a few people off my list. Using Kohls 30% off coupon on top of everything being on sale, I feel like the queen of great deals!
Tonite Nik and I worked on the tags that I put up at our church for the Giving Tree, or angel tree, or whatever you call yours. I have more tags to add but got finished with all the names we have so far. Do any of you have giving trees at your churches? I would love to hear how they handle lost or forgotten tags, it is always a small problem that we have. So this year I am having people "sign out" the tags just so I will have the name of the person who picked the tag in case they lose it or forget about returning the gift. One of my families is a really awesome group, the parents had a few children themselves and then started fostering kids with emotional problems, one by one over the years they have adopted quite a few of their foster kids. They are an amazing family, and I just love helping them out at Thanksgiving and Christmas, they are just so appreciative of everything they receive!
Our food pantry, where I volunteer, will be handing out over 230 turkey dinners with all the fixing next Saturday, what a crazy busy time, but the cool thing is when people come too pick up their food box, they dont even have to get out of their cars, just pull around the back of the pantry give their name and a food box complete with turkey is placed in their car, simple as that!

Tomorrow afternoon, my mom, sister, daughter, and future daughter in law and I are all going to downtown Cincinnati to dinner and then over to watch White Christmas, the new Broadway Series Play, we are all excited. ♥Don't you love the movie White Christmas ♥? **Side note, when Rosemary Clooney got remarried a few years back, my husband's cousin, was hand picked by her to sing at her wedding! He has a wonderful voice and has graciously agreed to sing at my son's wedding next year! if should be great!
Did you notice the hearts in this post?? Most of you probably know how to do this, but, me, I'm a little slow and just found out, from Nikki. IF any of you dont know, it is so simple and works on here, and Facebook, etc. All you have to do is type, & hearts ;(except without the spaces, but when i type it the correct way, it just shows you a heart not the code, lol) this is code to your computer to make a heart whereever you want it, so simple, how did I not know this, lol! Thanks Nikki, ♥ you!
I guess I have rambled long enough, If you are still reading this, thanks so much for stopping by! I so ♥love♥ a nice comment, it is like getting a letter in the mail! Have a great week! Sue
**Note** I appologize for all the ♥ but they are fun,and its like having a new toy!! LOL

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Ok I have started, so sue me!

Ok, I have started my Christmas decorating, well on my blog at least! Linda over at Behind My Red Door posed this question, Should We Or Shouldn't We, decorate for Christmas before thanksgiving?? I just couldnt stand to wait, to change my blog,but now I am having trouble changing the font style and color, maybe someone doesnt think I should change it yet, but either way, does anyone have any ideas on what I might be doing wrong?
As far as my house, I can't decide whether to switch the decor to Christmas or leave it as fall?? You see, I am hosting the hubs family for Thanksgiving on the Saturdy after Thanksgiving, and then a week later, I am hosting my Ladies Group from church for our annual Christmas Party. Doesnt leave alot of switch over time, on top of all the other things I have to do that week. I dont want my THanksgiving guests to feel strange, but I have to be done decorating for my church party. Decisions decisions, I know it isn't life or death, but I sure wish I could decide, lol. I have added a few pics from my house a few years ago, when I decide to decorate this year, I will try to post them for all to see!!
Thanks for listening, Sue